Why can’t I find inner peace? 

Peace is the prize that most of us chase after, but struggle to attain. Or maybe it’s more accurate to say, that peace is hard to maintain?

The longer I walk this journey with the LORD, the more I understand that peace isn’t a place, it’s a person. The shalom that is promised by God is found through Jesus Christ, the Prince of Peace. So, no amount of micro-managing and control will achieve the inner peace my soul longs for. No, the only way to that kind of healing and wholeness is through surrender.

I honestly believe the simple answer to the question, why can’t I find inner peace, is that there are still things the soul holds that need to be released. That said, I will also concede that while the theory is simple, the practice of letting go is much harder, at least that’s how it’s been for me.

The wholeness we long for is only found in communion with God. When He created humanity, God designed us to live in a relational community with Him and with others, but when sin entered the world it created a chasm. Salvation through Jesus restores access to the presence of God and all that He is.

Inner peace? It’s less about finding refuge and solace and more about becoming complete. Shalom is wholeness, nothing missing and nothing lost, and it only comes as we yield to perfect will and way of God–in every aspect of our lives.

Inner peace and simplicity

I don’t know about you, but I find clutter piles rob me of inner peace. It’s not just the piles of stuff, though, it’s the responsibilities connected to maintaining all the stuff. It makes me crazy. And, when maintaining all the stuff begins to cost in resources and time it takes me to another whole level of annoying. Can you relate?

Here’s the issue. Our knee-jerk reaction to solving this problem usually involves a plan of how to control it all. We either go into overdrive trying to clear out all the stuff or we try to find a way to maintain control over the stuff. Last week, I wrote about how a clean sweep is good for the blocked soul, where we looked at ways to clean out and create space and margin. If you feel overwhelmed by stuff, check out that blog here post for some helpful tips on how to cultivate simplicity in your physical spaces. 

The key to finding inner peace won’t be solved by purging all the stuff, there is an actual surrendering of the attachments, that needs to lead the way. Honestly, I believe that the physical act of letting go of stuff can open the way for letting go of the inner clutter, piles, and messes of the soul.

That’s what we’re going to focus on today as we look for ways to cultivate inner peace for our souls. After we walk through the physical motions of letting go, there is more space to hear and see as the Spirit of God leads us into the deeper waters of healing. 

But deeper healing requires peeling back layers of yuck and sludge that clog the soul.

Straight talk

Cultivating space for inner peace takes effort and discipline. The fact of the matter is, simplicity goes against the grain of the human heart. On some level, we’ve all bought the lie that intricate and complicated equate to a superior status. Not only does this mindset affect our physical things, but it plays with how we think and speak.

Cultivating simplicity in our speech can have a profound effect on the soul because the goal is truth-telling. We live in a culture that has become comfortable with little white lies and half-truths because it feels easier than the uncomfortable fall out of making people unhappy.

I heard a missionary talk about how living in Africa was refreshing compared to our North American ways because her word was enough. If she was invited or asked to do something she could simply say yes or no, without having to offer a dissertation of justification. 

“Simply let your ‘Yes’ by ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ by ‘No.'”

Matthew 5:36

I don’t know about you, but my soul longs for this. The practice of hedging words to soften the blow is exhausting. Listen, I’m not saying that we shouldn’t be sensitive about other’s feelings, but neither should we have to make acceptable excuses. Wouldn’t it be nice if we could simply say yes, or no thank you? Period.

The bottom line is that you and I cannot change how another person will react to our simple straight talk, but that really is not our issue to manage. I get how that can sound harsh, but cultivating space for inner peace requires setting boundaries for ourselves. This is about taking responsibility for being clear and honest, without offering excuses or explanations. 

Cut the double talk, half-truths, and inuendos

Say what you mean and mean what you say. Inner peace is rooted in truth.
Sarcasm can be funny until it’s not, and more often than not the line is crossed and feelings are hurt all in the name of “good fun.” I like to laugh just as much as anyone, but when we laugh at the expense of others, we become weapons of the enemy. And, you reap what you sow, so there’s that…

I live in a region that lives by passive-aggressive communication. I mean, I’m sure we all have a little passive-aggressive in our lives, but I had never experienced the likes of this until we moved to Pennsylvania. Passive-aggressive communication is mean. Sometimes it’s candy-coated in a nice soothing tone of voice, while other times it’s under breath. The result is always the same. It feels like a big knife in the back. 

Passive-aggressive communication speaks in half-truths because it is too afraid of honesty, and it desperately wants control. The problem is that it builds and builds until the person blows resulting in all kinds of pain. There is not inner peace when we try to control others with manipulation tactics like this.

Inuendos are insidious. I hate when words are perverted. These kind of implications create confusion and make things way more complicated. But what about when we infer and assume? It’s always way better to simply say what we mean, and mean what we say.

Changing the self-talk

Another robber of inner peace is the complicated and intricate web of self-talk lies. Cultivating simplicity is about making space to see and hear the activity of the Spirit of God at work in our lives, both on the inside and the out. I am convinced that we routinely miss the good words God speaks over our hearts because of the noise of self-talk.

Recently, my husband and I were out to dinner with some good friends. Our friend began sharing about a recent small group gathering where they are working their way through a book about prayer and marriage. The most recent topic hit on the subject of husbands praying for their wife’s thought life.

As the women began to share what became clear was the intense challenge of dealing with impure thoughts that erode their identity. It wasn’t the usually suspect of lust or porn (although these are certainly challenging things that affect women too). What was so astounding to this group of men were the thoughts of inferiority and comparison that spilled out on not one, not two, but of all the women around that room.

I can’t stop thinking about that, because it is so true. The noise of the inner self-talk is so unbelievably dangerous, but not just because of the content of the thoughts, it’s also the sheer volume of it all. It’s no wonder the soul gets tired and sad when we struggle to manage our thought life.

Finding inner peace by simplifying life with God

I don’t know about you, but I find that I can slip into busy, cluttered, and noisy faster than you can say it! The truth of the matter is that is takes more than just self-discipline to stay on course, we need the help of the Holy Spirit to lead us through. 

The pursuit of inner peace begins with a yielded heart that is committed to trusting God to guide and provide. His word tells us over and over that He is our portion and that He will provide all that we need. 

The spiritual discipline of simplicity helps to produce a distilled life. It’s about refinement and purity and there’s no way to fake it. Cultivating simplicity leads to clarity and grace. Inner peace is about living from the overflow of God’s transformative work in our lives. It happens from the inside out.

So, what do you think? 

Are you feeling up to peeling back another layer and digging into the pure goodness of God’s very best? Here are some reflection questions to contemplate and pray through with the Holy Spirit. 

Reflection 

Consider your speech. What tends to be the biggest area of weakness? Is it in the area of speaking simply? 

What is your inner thought life like? Are there lies you need to cut off?

What about your activity life with God? Is it complicated, cluttered, and busy?

Simplicity Practices that cultivate inner peace 

Ask God to help you distill and simplify your speech. Choose simply words of truth letting your yes be yes and your no be no. Avoid sarcasm and passive-aggressive communication and instead, make it your goal to build up and be honest. As you practice these things allow your heart to become aware of the subtle ways you try to manipulate your words. Allow the Holy Spirit to teach you how to refine your speech.

Stop making excuses, unnecessary apologies, and filter the yeses. These are the places we can into trouble by weaving half-truths and embellishing details that make us look better.

Stop making excuses, unnecessary apologies, and filter the yeses. These are the places we can get into trouble by weaving half-truths and embellishing details that make us look better. Just. Be. Honest. The goal of this exercise is about training your heart to listen to the Holy Spirit before you speak. While there are times when an apology is due or the Spirit of God prompts us to do something at the moment, it is also true that our apologies, excuses, and overcommitments can be manipulative. Lean in and cultivate discernment.

Cutting out negative self-talk will require a great effort. Can I just say, don’t shy away because it takes work and time? One of the enemy’s favorite tactics is to strip the children of God of their identity. If he can undermine truth he will gladly and repeatedly do it. If this is an area of particular struggle for you, I’ve got a download of scripture references that speak truth over your identity and soul. Practice these promises by prophesying the truth over yourself every time a lie floats into your consciousness. Place scripture cards where you can readily see them throughout your day. Allow your heart to revel in the kindness of God as He delights over the glory of you.