The holidays are almost here, so I’ve gathered some tips to help you prepare your soul for all the upcoming festivities. It seems crazy that something so special can become so crazy, but it does. As complicated as they can be, there is a way to celebrate without losing yourself in the process.
I love the holidays, but there is a huge tension for me. Many of our Christian holy days are tied to secular celebrations and things can get real confusing fast. It is easy to get lost in it all, even with carefully detailed plans.
Family traditions and expectations stoke the fires of anxiety like nothing else I know. The internal (and sometimes external) debates about where to go and when can literally make you sick, which can suck all the fun out what is meant to special. Have you ever wanted to just opt out?
It shouldn’t be that way, right? Here’s the good news is, there is a better way. I’ve got 5 tips to help you prepare your soul for the holidays!
Focus
Always start your day with Jesus. It’s tempting in the busyness of the holidays to just move right into the stuff of it all. There is extra work to be done because regular responsibilities don’t cease just because it’s a holiday. We usually have to prepare for our celebrations.
Just take a deep breath and fix your eyes and heart on Jesus. Spend time with him in the quiet so that your soul can hear what he says. Worship opens the way for deeper intimacy and it’s in those quiet places of surrender that transformation and breakthrough happen.
You cannot hear the still quiet voice of the Spirit in the chaos of all the noise. God speaks, but you have to be the one to shut down the external noise so you can hear him. And while this may all seem pretty straight forward, it’s important to note that it doesn’t just happen. Fixing your eyes and heart on the LORD is an act of the will—you choose to do it.
Prioritize
If you don’t establish your priorities, the holidays will just take you. This practice is all about setting a measurable standard for how you choose what to do and what not to do. There are hundreds of voices all shouting a different theme, which can make it all so confusing.
Remind yourself what the holiday is really about, not what the culture around you says it is. When you extract what the observation and celebration is supposed to be it enables you to appropriately give yourself to it.
Put Jesus in the center of it all and wrap everything else around him. Holy days are supposed to direct the heart and soul to the LORD. Start by asking yourself if your holiday plans will do that.
We have so many cultural traditions associated with the holidays, but sometimes even traditions that are based around good things can still become a distraction.
Don’t confuse the essence of the holiday with tradition, because traditions can become a huge hindrance and distraction from what it’s all supposed to be. Take it all before the LORD and lay it out on the altar. Ask Holy Spirit to help you prioritize what is holy and let him help you bring order to the method of your celebration.
Do you see what I mean?
Remind yourself, often, that the holiday is about celebrating what God has done. The holidays are meant to give you space in your life to readjust your practices and re-orient your heart and soul. This is a season that is supposed to create space for contemplation, remembrance, thanksgiving, and joy, as we draw close the LORD. Take an honest inventory of what’s going on in your soul.
Simplify
Simplicity is an important value for me, so this has become a helpful modifier for me. Simplicity, by virtue of its very nature, creates margin and space. Conversely, intricately detailed plans tend to complicate the flow of life, therefore creating greater potential for stressful moments.
I used to watch Martha Stewart, when my children were little. I gleaned all sorts of creative ideas designed to make the holidays better, but you know what? They didn’t. My attempts at creating the perfect holiday for my family only served to make me sick and cranky. When I began to streamline my holiday preparations according to focus and priority I landed firmly in this place of simplicity.
I’m not saying that decorating and holiday entertaining is chaotic or bad, I’m saying that you need to understand your context and be reasonable. My husband and I Pastor a church in South Central Pennsylvania, but all of our extended family live in Canada. We always travel at Christmas, so I no longer bother with a lot of holiday baking. It is a lot of effort for little to no return, because it never gets eaten.
Simplicity helps modify the activity according to priorities and focus, which keeps things clean and clear.
Rest
One of the best ways to prepare your soul for the holidays is to build in time to rest—regularly. I cannot stress this enough. Physical, emotional, and spiritual rest are powerful tools in nurturing your soul, so make a plan to pace yourself as you move through holiday season.
I have found that proper rest enables me to function at my best. Making decisions on the fly in the midst of all your careful plans when you are over-tired or overdrawn can get you into trouble fast. Fatigue on any level can result in people pleasing and boundary violations, thus negating all the work you’ve done ahead. Proper rest renews your soul so that you can maintain the way you’ve marked out.
Rest is a powerful source of strength. Proper rest helps keep you healthy and able to fight sickness—physically and emotionally. It enables you to think clearly, which gives you greater ability to act with grace and honor. Tired people are more prone to tantrums—even adults!
Intentional Discipline
The holidays are not just a reason to get together and party, although by many descriptions (even by those in the church), this is often what they become. The holy days are important for us to celebrate, because they draw us into deeper communion with God as both individuals and as a community.
Delineate the purpose of the holidays. Dig deep and move beyond sentiment and tradition. Understand their point, don’t just assume. It’s important that we be intentional in our disciplines, because it always, always, always comes back to the condition of your heart.
Many of our Christian holidays are tied to secular holidays. Thanksgiving is tied to the Pilgrims journey to find a new land to live and practice faith. I am thankful for the life I enjoy, but I’ve come to understand that it came a great expense. Realizing there is a much sadness attached to this holiday for many people in North America affects how I choose to observe this holiday.
Christmas can get pretty out of control as the spirit of entitlement and consumerism settles into the heart. Let’s not lose sight of what the holiday is about. As believers who follow Christ, love is always the goal, which means how we observe the holidays matters.
Search your heart and ask the Holy Spirit to make known the places in your life where self-discipline is necessary. Intentional discipline is a choice to practice habits that exalt the LORD above everything else. It doesn’t just happen by itself, it takes a conscious effort to set the heart straight.
Keeping the holidays holy
Okay, so let’s talk about how to navigate around some of road blocks we bump up against. The tips I shared above will help you deal with the internal struggle, but this is only part of the battle.
When we live in community, whether it’s extended family or a friend group, there will be external expectations. This can get messy real fast when your community is diverse, both culturally and spiritually. What I mean is, you may very well determine to observe the holidays one way, while your people want to celebrate it another way. We can all relate to this on some level.
Well, the first thing you have to do is establish your heart. Adjust your attitude and mark out the way you want to go. You do this by following the above five habits. If you don’t make the effort to prepare you heart then you have no one to blame but yourself. What is your spiritual goal for the holiday and how are you going to achieve it?
The second thing you need to do is establish boundaries. This one of the hardest things to do, because it involves potentially disappointing your people, but refusing to deal with unreasonable expectations can lead you into long-term resentment, which can lead to bitterness. Figure out where you need to draw the line and do it. Let honor and grace deliver a firm boundary, which allows you to keep everything in its proper place.
Finally, remember that the holidays are an invitation from the LORD. They are sacred and reverent, because he is holy. Let your worship be consistent from the inside out—in the church, at work, and at home.