Hey, I know this has been a challenging couple of months. If you are anything like me, you’re probably feeling cagy and overwhelmed with mixed feelings from one end of the spectrum to the other. I am cautiously ready to re-engage in public life, but there is no way I want things to return to the way it was before. There is a much better way, which is why I believe, this is a great time for re-alignment and setting boundaries.
I’m not going go into a dissertation of what boundaries are, because I’m fairly certain that you know what they are, but for the sake of clarity and the context of this post, understand that I’m talking about marking our limits. Many of us struggle to manage our boundaries and it can create issues for the soul.
Here’s the thing, life is about to get busy and crazy again, and if you aren’t careful you are going to find yourself right back on that crazy merry-go-round. Before you proceed any further, why not stop and take a little time to evaluate the condition of your soul? Think about who you are, whom you belong to, what you value, and what your life is all about.
Setting boundaries isn’t about resignation or self-denial, it’s about setting yourself up for wellness and peace. Healthy living doesn’t just happen, it’s about making choices that support the whole of who you are, which is why boundaries are a critical part of taking care of the soul.
Setting boundaries starts with a Soul Check-Up
Have you ever done a soul check-up? Most of us are familiar with physical check-ups, mental wellness checks, emotional checks, maybe even spiritual checks, but these are often compartmentalized and siloed. What I mean is, that like almost everything else we do in our western culture, we categorize and organize by topic. When there is a problem we isolate and work to solve it by treating the symptom, forgetting that the symptom is not the actual issue, it just shows us there is an issue.
The soul intersects with the physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual parts of us, so if the physical body is sick, it will affect how we think, feel, and relate to God. And, it is the same for each of those components. This is why doing a complete soul check-up is a critical tool for helping us determine reasonable limits for doing life.
We’ve all gone through quite a process, these last three months. I’m sure we’ve all struggled with the range of pressure on each of these aspects that make up who we are. We are all like pressure cookers, ready to blow, right? Yet, I urge you to resist that impulse rising up.
Slow down, breathe, and take a few minutes to evaluate how you are doing physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. Rate yourself on a scale of 1-10 (1=Awesome and 10=numb, resigned, and sick). Be honest and be real.
Here are some additional questions to consider…
- Who am I and what am I supposed to be about?
- Who am I before God?
- What really matters and what do I honestly value.
Guard your heart
Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.
Proverbs 4:23
The practice of guarding your heart requires setting boundaries, by acknowledging and marking reasonable limitations so that you can support wholeness and health. I wonder if sometimes we resist this practice because it feels like resignation and admitting defeat. There is a real fear of missing out on something and sometimes we push beyond who we are in unhealthy ways because of guilt fueled thoughts.
Here’s the thing, boundaries are there whether we adhere to them or not. Let me tell you, my own personal experience has taught me over and over again, that when I honor my limitations and partner with the LORD, the result is wholeness, fulfillment, and peace. Why? Because I have learned that what I do is supposed to flow out of who I am.
The reality is, you do not have to participate in everything that is going on around you. Setting boundaries right now is probably one of the best things you can do to care for your soul both today and moving forward. This is what it means to guard your heart.
Setting boundaries helps to safeguard the soul. Consider what physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual limitations you might have. As human beings we are prone to see the negativity in our lack, but can I offer another perspective? When you are confronted with limitations, instead of lamenting the lack, remember instead that the King of the universe delights over you.
The LORD, is not focused on your lack. God invites you to draw close, lean on His strength and wisdom to lead. He’ll direct all your steps in all your moments. Guarding the heart isn’t about erecting walls, it’s about embracing and honoring who you are.
Setting boundaries helps establish healthy foundations
Wellness and wholeness don’t just happen, they are the result of intentional choices made with purpose. When the soul stands in agreement with God it gives way to a surrendered acceptance, which is foundational obedience. That’s where it starts…
Setting boundaries helps us to establish healthy foundations that provide strength to resource everything that’s built on top. Everything we do in our everyday lives is supported by what’s going on internally. I don’t know about you, but when I look at it like that, I see how my own personal lack of discipline in caring for myself contributes to my well-being or lack thereof.
Therefore, lift your drooping hands and strengthen your weak knees, and make straight paths for your feet, so that what is lame may not be put out of joint but rather healed.
Hebrews 12:12-13
The LORD gave me this verse almost eight years ago, and I’ve spent many years leaning in and listening. When I read this verse, I hear the LORD saying to me, “Stop whining! Pick yourself up, mark out a straight path, and walk on.” It’s not about pushing through, it’s about trusting God as we move through.
Respecting our limitations gives us a front-row view of the miracles of God. We are mere human beings, but God is infinite and full of might.
“He gives power to the weak and strength to the powerless.” Isaiah 40:29
When the inner-being of the soul stands in alignment with God, we able to do more than when we try to operate outside of who we are. Setting boundaries creates space to pursue intimacy with God. Intimacy with God positions us for so much more and it’s from that place that purpose flows.
Hitting the Re-set button…
This moment of history carries such a juxtaposition. We are on hold, yet the world is not. It continues to spin and orbit the sun; we have the day and we have night. Our living, moving, and being is still happening and thriving in many cases, yet how many will miss that truth because they determine worth and value in all the busy doing?
We’ve had a long time to sit, wait, and watch. It’s been difficult, painful, and sometimes even terrifying to see the effects of this Pandemic on our loved ones, our communities, and our way of life. Most of us have never experienced anything like this—ever. We are anxious to come out of forced hibernation, but we need to understand that we are different because of what we have experienced.
Can I say that again?
We are different because of what we have experienced.
I really believe, if nothing else, it is critical to acknowledge that limitation out loud. Setting boundaries that honor our personal limitations will open the way for healing. That’s the message of Hebrews 12:12-13 because lifting up our drooping arms and weak knees, is about resolve. Healing happens in that intimate place when we choose to trust God, yield and obey.
I really believe that right now is the perfect time to re-adjust the boundary lines. Everything is still up in the air, no one really has any idea of how it’s all going to land, so there is room, space, and grace to pick through what we really want to take with us as we move ahead.
So, are you brave enough to pop the lid of the soul and take a look?
I firmly believe that tending the soul opens the way to the more of God. I have a weekly devotional called, The Grace Notes, which comes loaded with daily readings, journal prompts, and contemplative projects designed to help cultivate a heart after God. Sign up below!