So, let’s talk about prayer and the reason why we pray in the first place.

This is a really important area of development in our spiritual maturity, but it’s often neglected.  Prayer, while we know it’s important, often feels dry, pointless, and obligatory.  We’ve all been there, right?

 

Prayer matters. I’m not talking about what we pray about, I’m talking about the reason why we pray.  Prayer can get confusing when we don’t have a clear understanding of what it is, and why it’s important, which is why, I believe many people, my self included, simply opt-out.

 

If you’ve spent any amount of time in a church community, you understand there is a value of prayer, but the discipline of prayer—the practice—is what tends to be the issue.  There is just something about it, at least the way it’s done in many of our church contexts, that feels intimidating and daunting.

 

I used to dread having to pray out loud when I was a kid. My parents, who were the youth leaders (which, by the way, eliminates any option of hiding) taught us to pray together by keeping it simple and short: Pray for one thing you are thankful for, and one thing you’d like help with. This helped to take the pressure off by addressing the how, but it didn’t really inspire passion, because it didn’t address the reason why we pray.

 

Prayer is all about relationship.  It isn’t a box to be checked off our spiritual to-do list, it’s a vehicle of intimacy with the Father.  Prayer is the place we meet with him, listen to him, and talk to him.  So, maybe let’s just dig into that a little more.  Let’s re-examine the the reason why we pray.

 

The reason why we pray

 

In my estimation, we (the church) have spent ourselves on the busy-ness of figuring out how to pray right.  In the process, we have become noisy and perhaps a little self-involved?  In short, the reason why we pray has become about ourselves. Thiink about it.  How often is prayer reduced to trying to convince God to give us what we want, “In Jesus’ Name,” of course!

 

Ahem—sorry, too much sarcasm?

 

I mean no condemnation or judgment in that because I’m preaching to myself as much as any.  The critique needs to stand though because it pushes us to go back and evaluate the posture of our heart.

 

This is where we need to start. So, instead of focusing on how to pray in hopes of finding a perfect formula to secure what we want, it would behoove us to determine for ourselves, as individuals, the real reason why we pray. It matters and that one little heart adjustment will change everything.

 

 

 

 

Keep it private

 

“But when you pray, go away by yourself, shut the door behind you, and pray to your Father in private.  Then your Father, who sees everything will reward you.”  Matthew 6:6

 

Yeah, I know, this whole passage is definitely prescriptive, but there’s so much more when we move beyond the form and instruction. Please don’t hear me say that prayer forms and methods are bad, because that is not what I’m saying at all—in fact, we will be looking at forms and methodology of prayer all month on the blog as we continue in this series on pray. But form and methods though should be informed by the heart.

 

 

In the Matthew 6:6 verse, the words “in private,” and “your Father, who sees everything,” really stand out, to me.

 

In the verse, Jesus is telling the disciples that prayer should be private; it’s not about putting on a show for everyone to admire.

 

So, does that mean we cannot pray in a group? Of course not, but prayer is about intimacy with God.  The reason why we pray is to develop oneness with the Father.

 

Just sit with that thought for a moment.

 

Has that been your experience with prayer?  Do you encounter the living God when you pray?

 

Prayer is a vehicle of worship designed for oneness with God.  We pray not to tell God about what we need, because ultimately, he already knows what’s going on in our lives, but to respond to his invitation to come and know him.

 

Privacy is important, not for the sake of secrecy, but to create an environment for humility and raw honesty.  Surrender happens in the midst of prayer.  Prayer takes us into the presence of God, but just like any other form of worship, the posture of the heart matters.

 

 

 

 

How is the practice of prayer about intimacy?

 

If the reason why we pray is birthed from a place of striving and earning, we will completely miss the point.  The words we use and the time we invest without a heart of surrender is simply a vain practice.  Words and actions are empty when the heart is not the source.

 

So, when you catch yourself saying things like, “I know I should pray more, but…” it’s time to take a look at what’s going on inside. I came across this great word the other day, as I was reading from My Utmost from His Highest. Oswald Chambers is one of my favorite authors and this is what he has to say about prayer,

 

“The point of prayer is not to get answers from God but to have perfect and complete oneness with Him.  If we pray only because we want answers, we will become irritated and angry with God.  We receive an answer every time we pray, but it does not always come in the way we expect, and our spiritual irritation shows our refusal to identify ourselves truly with our Lord in prayer.  We are not here to prove that God answers prayer, but to be living trophies of God’s grace.” ¹

 

Prayer is not just about talking, it’s about listening. Oneness with God doesn’t just happen, it grows because of a commitment to, “Be still and know him.” (Psalm 46:10) God is sovereign and he always knows best.  Prayer teaches us how to abide in a place of trust, which enables us to wait, to listen, and behold.

 

 

 

 

The form of prayer

 

Recently, in a theology class, I was taking, the professor began with a time of prayer.  He invited us to join in, with simple instruction and a very brief explanation that went something like this:

 

“This morning I’d like us to come together in prayer in a way that might feel different from what you’re used to.  If you have something, someone, or somewhere you’d like to pray for, just call out the name.   As a group we will all respond to the name with:  Lord, Jesus Christ, have mercy on __________.”

 

I smiled to myself as we settled in because this was a form of prayer quite familiar to me.  I grew up in a church with a rich form of liturgical prayer.  This is how we prayed for the people of God. But I forgot, just how powerful this form of prayer can be. You see, I now fellowship with a community of believers who pray very differently.  Prayer in my church is freer in form, which is also quite powerful, but often exalted above the rote forms such as this method we prayed that day in class.

 

I share this because it’s important to see that the method is just a method.  Fixed prayers or Spontaneous prayers are both excellent options, if your heart is set on the LORD—not the answer and not the form.

 

As we sat together in that class, calling out names of people and nations, quietly saying, Lord, Jesus Christ, have mercy, name upon name, I could not stop weeping, for the presence of God was palpable in that place.  I encountered oneness as I surrendered and trusted him in that quiet manner of prayer.

 

 

 

 

 

The discipline of prayer

 

Perhaps you sometimes wonder why prayer is so valuable to us as sons and daughters of God. Because really, what’s the big deal? Understanding the reason why we pray is important because it leads to deeper intimacy with God.  That, by the way, is why we were created.

 

God is complete and perfect—that’s his nature and character—which means he didn’t need us; he chose us.  God created us simply because he could and when he did, he declared the creation very good. Not only that, humanity was designed in the image of God, which in its very nature looks like a community: Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.

 

The idea was always for intimacy.  Prayer gives us a way back, that doesn’t require striving or perfection.  It’s about honesty and grace.

 

The discipline of prayer is essential for Christ-followers because it’s the place we get to know God.  In the still, quiet, private places with God, we see and behold his greatness—even in the waiting and the silence.  In fact, sometimes the silence screams louder than the mighty sound of the thundering heavens.

 

 

 

 

Why we pray: going Deeper…

 

Let’s make this practical.  Prayer is definitely an area we all want to grow, so go ahead—ask yourself:

 

Why pray?

 

Grab your pen and journal and let that be a journal prompt. Set a timer for 10 minutes and write everything that comes to your mind about the reason why we pray.  Don’t edit or filter your words, just let them spill.

 

When the timer goes off, put your pen down.

 

I want you to inhale and exhale—just take a moment and let yourself slow down. 

 

Now go back and read what you wrote.

 

What did that exercise reveal to you about how you see prayer?

 

Do you agree with everything you wrote?  I know that seems like a strange question, but it’s a very helpful evaluation tool.  You may discover lies and distorted ideas of the enemy tucked into your belief system. If that’s the case, take it to the LORD in prayer.  Confess it, rebuke it, and realign your heart with what’s true.

 

Now, spend some time sitting with the LORD.  Resist the urge to get noisy and wordy.  Instead, practice the discipline of silence as you wait with him. Start with small increments of time and work toward more, because it’s just like everything else—it takes time to develop strength and endurance.

 

I hope you will join me again on the blog this month as we continue talking about prayer!

In this series, we will continue to unpack what it means to commune with God in prayer and how we do that using different forms and methods.

 

I’d love to hear from you about your thoughts on the topic of prayer or if you like, tell me about your “going deeper” experience—Because a testimony is always encouraging for the soul, don’t you think?

 

 

 

 

1. Chambers, Oswald. Special Updated Edition by James Reimann. My Utmost for His Highest. Grand Rapids, MI: Discovery House Publishers, 1995.